Jiayi was rejected from school today. Her childcare teacher suspected that she has HFMD and called us to bring her to the doctor for a check. Although she was suspected to have that disaese once, that was a false alarm but this time, she was confirmed to have contracted the disease.
Actually she was running a fever on sunday night. As her fever persisted til the next morning, she stayed home with Jia'en where my MIL babysit both of them. Today, i took over the baton to babysit Jia'en. Since Jiayi's fever has subsided, i thought she was ready for school again.
Doctor told me to isolate her from Jia'en for 10 days. Fortunately JH was at home resting for his overnight duty and so i could bring Jiayi home while JH babysit Jia'en in my in law's house. However, worried that the disease would spread to Jia'en, and as JH would not be home tonight, i had to leave Jia'en to sleep with my in laws.
I was actually saddened by the doctor's confirmation. A worrisome me had so much to worry about:
- Will Jia'en get the disease?
- What should i do if Jia'en gets the disease?
- Who can look after Jia'en today?
- Who can look after Jia'en if i had to tend to Jiayi?
- How pitiful Jia'en will be to be away from mummy and daddy and can't come home.
- I miss Jia'en
- How many days of leave must i apply?
- How can i isolate the 2 kids for 10 days?
- What should i do if Jiayi gets very fussy and cries over the pain in the ulcer?
....
My worry list just went on and on. Needless to say, the moment i think of all these, my eyes would well with tear. JH would say i worried too much and he assured me that Jiayi would be fine in no time. Jia'en would be strong enough to battle the virus.
I guess there is really no choice. It is really impossible to segregate the 2 kids completely as segregating them would mean segregating poor Jia'en from her daddy and mummy. It's really so cruel to her. But then which is more cruel? Exposing her to the disesase or parting her from us? But then again, prior to me knowing that Jiayi has HFMD and during the contagious period, the 2 girls were playing together, sharing toys and so does it mean that i don't need to purposely segregate them and bear the pain of not having Jia'en with us?
Last Sunday, JH commented that it's really not easy being parents. Have to juggle with work, children and other auxillary duties. Being a parent, we have to make many decisions and many a times, it may be painful ones thinking that it's for the good of our dear kids. A lot of pain and sacrifice came with the word parenthood. The moment i was promoted to a mother, i finally appreciate and cherish what my own parents did for me all these years. Then the next thing which come to my mind: Why did people have to go through so much to bring ourselves so much sacrifice and pain? There are those who pay tens of grands of dollars, go through lots of physical and emotional pain to make babies so that we could sacrificae and taste the heartaches of parenthood.
Whenever i have such thoughts, subconsciously i had to remind myself that i should not be thinking that parents are all sacrifice and pain. From this post, it is evident that i am still constantly reminding and convincing myself. Maybe we should see it this way. Parenthood though is tough but it can be rewarding especially whenever they called "mummy
, gave us a hug or kiss or just said "mummy i love you." On a personal level, all the tough times are training grounds for us and it was all these events that shaped us and build a stronger character in us. Just like our children, we are learning, we as parents are also learning throughout the whole journey. It's tough now but one day i will look back and chat with my friends and comment how i wish that my children are young again.
